Blogging, I am nearly 5 years into this journey that I tap-tap tap away and it is sad but true that sometimes I really do not feel good enough, worthy enough or able to keep my head above water to be seen as good at what I do. I sometimes crumble under the pressure of a full-time job, my health and just general life and then have an inconceivable guilt that I have let myself down because I haven’t blogged enough, posted an Instagram everyday or replied to a tweet because I just don’t have the right content or words to say to sound like I am in the know.
Why comparison is the killer of my content
A self-explanatory title, I compare myself to people a little too much. My photo’s aren’t flawless, my blog views are OK but nothing ‘in comparison’ comparison to who or for what. I sometimes sit at my laptop write a whole post, then refuse to post it as I don’t feel it could compare to someone else whose words may be more concise, a little more jovial or just all round better.
In this blogging world it is so so easy to feel just a little bit behind. My life is not as dreamy or as picturesque as my photos show, no ones are really. I mean come on, I am sat here in my PJs while Jonny plays his Xbox not on an island with a cocktail in hand living this dream life. That though is why, you see such incredible content and think, darn I will never be quite as good or have such beautiful content and then this big black hole consumes you and your creative flow and bam you’ve talked yourself out of not writing or sharing something that you can bet your bottom dollar on that you have worked at for hours on end and felt good about until that point.
I want to make sure that this year, this is where I just do me. I pour a shit ton of time and effort into this and it makes me feel good but I also make myself feel bad no one else does that. Though you do get the odd comment or nasty PR person who wants to tear you down, though they are hurdles I can get over now, I would have quit long ago had I let others burst my bubble, but yet here I am trying to pop my own constantly. I don’t want to compare myself, though naturally I will but if I want that island life living the dream I am the only person who can get myself there and that’s where I need to make a change.
Being the game changer
If I want to feel better then I need to up my game, I give up and cop-out too easily sometimes and I don’t want to. From the outside looking in I know sometimes I can perform better and when I do, I get these incredible opportunities. If I want those opportunities I have to put the effort in, the people I compare myself too have so I shouldn’t be expecting things on a plate. Which I don’t of course because I am incredibly humbled to have the opportunities I get but as a human sometimes you think why not me, snap out of it! I can work harder and I will. I have been making an effort to make sure that my photos are much more inviting and though out, especially on my Instagram where you can kind of feel lost in a sea of incredible content and there is yours, not being seen or noticed because some silly algorithm. I am lucky enough that Jonny is really supportive and happy to take photos for me, so the key for me is utilising him to help me drive better content and create more captivating shots, no one ever got anywhere without a little help along the way, right?
I went through this stage of being so responsive, commenting on posts, starting conversations and just engaging with the community and everyone who took an interest more. That is a huge focus for me now, these incredible people are saying I like that, well done and they like what I am creating but I just can’t see it for myself sometimes. You get the blinkers on and just want more, more follows, more likes etc. and that is all well and good it creates that weird buzz of social gratification but I really value the comments and chats I have off the back of these and they mean more. They are the ones who champion your corner and I need to make sure I champion theirs because this whole industry is about support and being each others biggest fans.
Get to know Kenzie
5 years on, I sometimes shy away from getting too personal on my blog, I even thought about not posting this because people may not care but I care and I know I am not the only people in this boat of self-doubt and worry. I have done before, I have discussed my surgeries, body confidence on a few occasions and kind of put my emotions out there with a letter of advice to my younger self. One of these posts got me featured in Blogosphere magazine last year so I know they have impact, yet they bring the most fear. They are things that are hard sometimes to convey in words, do they come across in the right way do they even make sense? So I think this will be where you see my face possibly on YouTube (big maybe here), creating more personal content and being ok in my own skin and not shying away from topics I feel passionately about. This was once just a beauty blog, but I have watched it evolve into much more and I am proud of it, where it has come and where it is going. I feel my drive to stay authentic to myself and my audience is what pushes me to do better but is also what leaves that hanging question in my mind of is this right, is this what people want?
I think the key is to focus on what I am doing, how to better it and how to see success in my own eyes not in someone else’s. We’re all different and that is such a huge thing when blogging, being different. So I want to highlight that, not conform and be a carbon copy of someone else.
So I would love to know what would you like to see more of on LemonaidLies because you’re reading my content and have stayed to the end of this posts and I value what you think, after all you’re there championing my corner. If you leave a comment please leave a link to your blog or channel if you have one as I would love to champion your content too.